Funeral for a Friend

by Destro, July 26, 2007, 5:17 pm

Today is indeed a sad day in the life of Destro. My beloved white 1994 Chevrolet Corsica, or H.I.S.S. tank as I called it, was purchased today. Knowing that Pete has already done away with his own model, it disturbs me to know that no one I know will be riding around in the ultimate battle vehicle. It was an indestructible ride owing to is heavy layers of armor. When I ran it into a tree, the car just scoffed and displayed the small scratch it obtained like a notch in its belt. The tree, however, was much worse off. Even when a carefully placed highway mine blew up the oil pan and gas tank threatening to engulf me in flames, the car refused to give in. After repairs, it ran just as good as new. The only solace I can find is the knowledge that it has been sent to a good home. Early this morning, Edmundo Santarana immediately fell in love with the car. He offered me $600 for the car, and I accepted knowing that he would take care of it. I told him that he could have the car as soon as his check cleared. Edmundo wanted the car immediately though and pulled a wad of hundreds out of his pocket. I could see that he was serious, so I brought the title out to sign it over to him. I wanted to go to the bank so it could be notarized, however he said that was not necessary. He informed me that his car insurance had been cancelled, so he did not want his name on the lease. I said, “Fine, then I can put of wife’s name instead.” Edmundo insisted that I leave it blank though. Needing to get on with my busy day of planning world domination, I agreed. Sandra, always thinking, brought up the point that the notary actually needed to see the signature. Edmundo countered with the fact that wife of his boss was a notary and she would take care of it. AVEC VERVE! “Wait,” I thought. Edmundo could use me as a decoy while he was compiling tickets all around town. I knew that turning in the license plate would absolve me of any blame and get the DMV off my back. “Sorry, you will have to drive back home without a license plate.” Edmundo came out on top again by producing his own plate from his wife’s car. Check and Mate. “Well played Edmundo,” I thought as he drove off into the distance. I will miss my beautiful car, but I know that Edmundo will be enjoying as he cavorts around the town.

2 Responses to 'Funeral for a Friend'

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  1. Ice says:

    July 27, 2007, 1:44 am

    It is, indeed, a sad day when Destro gives up his armored vehicle. We can only hope that he can hold onto his pirate ship, or that Edmundo will offer top dollar for it.

  2. Walt says:

    July 30, 2007, 11:28 pm

    Dest–here’s some Corsica porn for you.

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