The Hitmen enjoy their victory in the shadow of the Washington Monument, June 28, 2007.
The Hitmen enjoy their victory in the shadow of the Washington Monument, June 28, 2007.

Hitmen Create HazMat Situation for EPA

by Ice, June 29, 2007, 1:13 pm

Having played only one (less-than-stellar) game over the last few weeks, rustiness was a legitimate worry for the Hitmen in their Thursday tilt against the EPA’s Gang of Green. Thankfully, these concerns proved unwarranted. Aside from a 1-2-3 top of the first inning, the Hitmen bats were lively and steady. By the middle innings, the good guys had built a sizable lead and cruised to a victory behind the heavy hitting of BigStick, InsuranceClaim, Poppa Stanto and others.

While scoring was held down somewhat by the conservative ground rules requested by the EPA, and the general uphill slope of the diamond, it was an all-around positive performance for the Hitmen, offensively and defensively. This was a good thing on many levels, not the least of which was the fact that it enabled WhoShotJR to contain his inner rage. Having glimpsed the fire that burns within our esteemed hurler during our last game, all in attendance were thankful for a more relaxed contest this time around.

With apologies to Shooter, Slugger, KBeast and the other two-timers that we have within our ranks, the game also marked a major strategic victory for the greater cause of softball on the National Mall. Shortly after InsuranceClaim’s second inning blast bounced into the rear of a kickballer squatting in left centerfield, the tribe of WAKA enthusiasts abandoned their advance onto our territory, deciding to seek more accommodating surrounds for their children’s game elsewhere. It was a sweet sight to watch them retreat with their coolers and giant red ball in tow. See ya, suckers!

Posted in Game reports

3 Responses to 'Hitmen Create HazMat Situation for EPA'

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  1. Walt says:

    June 29, 2007, 1:42 pm

    Good work, Hitmen, in defending both our record and the entire sport of softball. You have preserved the dignity of the game for future generations of Americans and followers of freedom around the world.

  2. Weatherman says:

    June 29, 2007, 4:06 pm

    Yea, that kickball team never saw what was coming…I bet they were like “Oh, THESE guys can’t hit the ball this far.” Wrong…WRONG. We’re talking about the Hitmen, emphasis on the “HIT”. Suckaaaaaaaaasss

  3. Murry says:

    June 29, 2007, 10:48 pm

    Glad to see the Hitmen were able to put us back on the winning track yesterday. I contributed by getting wasted at Merriweather, jumping out of the car at an intersection and hailing a cab the rest of the way home in the pouring rain. Another solid Hitwoman performance. See ya’ll next week!

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