I was so wrong, JohnStamos owns me… hard
I was thinking about it the other day… I’ve been completely wrong about JohnStamos… I probably love that man more than one human should ever love another. And I do mean it “in that way†LOL! Yes, I was lonely out on the Caribbean looking for botty to plunder when I thought this… but that doesn’t change this epiphany any. I know it… just as much as I know the sun will rise over the water, looking like a glowing, shaved right testicle… I know I love him like I know I’ll never not look like I’m homeless or like my name is Mohammed Attahallahbamma.
And now I’ve said things that might have pushed him away forever. I miss him SO much. I miss his laugh, the way he looks in those softball shorts (especially when he forgets his usual pair and has to play in swim trunks that are way too small and tight, tee-hee) … I miss his man musk.
I wish he would move down to
North Carolina so we could be together again. I’d swab his deck so long and good he’d yell “Arrrrgghhhhh†for me over and over. Sniffle, sniffle… I fear that may never happen now. Shiver me timbers, argh, sniffle sniffle… argh.

June 8, 2007, 12:16 pm
This is so distrubing on sooooo many levels.
June 8, 2007, 12:46 pm
John Stamos,
I know you are distraught after your model wife left you and “Jake in Progress” lasted only slightly longer than Heather Graham’s show, but you shouldn’t misquote me. Everyone knows that I would never misspell the word booty, as I get it from the Baroness on a regular basis. You sound like you are trying to grasp for straws. Relax, you can still have a meaningful life. Remember as I always say, “Premature panic is the result of an immature mind.”