Hitmen come up big on field, small on table
Another Thursday meant another trip to Anacostia for the 2007 Hitmen. Battling an undermanned (and underwomanned) Loose Cannons squad, the Hitmen looked to improve their record to 4-0. With workman-like efficiency, they set about their task, only slightly distracted by the slew of used hypodermic needles and jimmy hats littering the field. Their diligence would be rewarded. Behind solid fielding and a steady barrage of base knocks, the team lived up to its name and cruised to a 21-3 victory.
With the victory in hand, the home team made a hasty retreat to a local watering hole where talk soon turned to flip cup. After some intersquad warm-up rounds, the spirited bunch challenged a neighboring table to a battle for bar supremacy. This proved to be a poor decision. Held back by some serious dead weight in the form of John Stamos and Ice, the hunters quickly became the hunted. Much to their collective chagrin, the orange-clad Florida State Society squad proved to be a firey blaze of dexterity. Despite a valiant effort, the Hitmen flip-cuppers were unable to match the efforts of their adversaries.
All was not lost, however. When the FSS proposed a one-on-one bet for cash, Doc emerged victorious and pocketed a cool four dollars. That’s the way the Hitmen roll, suckers.
June 1, 2007, 11:33 am
I just want to let everyone know that I have made my peace with our 2007 0-1 flipcup record. Im pretty sure as a team the Hitmen are probably like 137-1 now in that event. I think we need to keep our focus and good karma for softball. We are 4-0 and this is feeling like our year. We aren’t going to let a minor setback at our friendly local watering hole get us down. Hitmen for Life!
June 1, 2007, 2:43 pm
I want to personally apologize to each and every Hitman, as I feel it was my absence that caused the team to lose at the table against the annoyingly bright orange Floridians. If anyone hates Florida, it is certainly I. My promise is that in the future we will dominate in all drinking events and I will prove to you that on the field is not the only place I fall down.
June 2, 2007, 5:18 pm
If I was there with my drinking glove you guys would have nothing to worry about.
June 4, 2007, 12:41 pm
No,
I gave my drinking glove away to a homeless guy named Coney Island Mike who I met on the NY subway. He needed it (and deserved it) more than I. If people are going to post under my name, they need to get the facts straight. Murray, I am very disappointed with you. How can you talk bad about Florida. They have proved their complete domination over the past year and a half. Their lure and power is so strong they refused to let their coach go to the NBA and made him pretend like it was his idea.
I never meant to be so bad to you
One thing I said that I would never do
A look from you and I would fall from grace
And that would wipe the smile right from my face
Do you remember when we used to dance
And incidence arose from circumstance
One thing led to another we were young
And we would sing together songs unsung
It was the heat of the moment
Telling me what your heart meant
The heat of the moment
Shone in your eyes
June 4, 2007, 2:27 pm
Who knew Destro was an Asia fan? How’s the sound quality in your gigantic metallic head?
June 7, 2007, 10:21 pm
“You know how I know you’re gay? Cuz you like ASIA”
-40 Year Old Virgin
I thought it applied