Weatherman’s E.R.A. stays low as Hitmen reach new high
Looking for back to back wins for the first time in quite awhile, the Hitmen took to the Mall again on Thursday. This week’s opponent? The Showboats squad that unceremoniously dispatched us from the end of the season tourney in 2007.
The evening started out inauspiciously. First came the rain. Then came the crickets when the opposing manager inquired about whether the Hitmen had bases and other necessary items for softball play…. After 7 years, you’d think we’d have this CSL thing down by now, but apparently not. Who manages this team, anyway? Somebody should fire that guy.
Fortunately for the Hitmen, however, things got considerably better from there. Stepping in as pitcher, the Weatherman brought calm and clear conditions to the diamond, setting the ‘boats down in order in the first inning. This caused a bit of confusion to the rest of the Hitmen who have grown accustomed to starting the game with a lengthy parade of fielding errors, errant throws and boneheaded mistakes on their way to a multi-run deficit.
Drawing on his experience playing in other leagues, however, the Weatherman convinced us that it was alright–even preferable–to hurry through the opening frame with three consecutive outs so that we could get up to bat. While we were initially skeptical, we decided to follow his lead. There was something so convincing about him. Perhaps it was his calm manner, noticeably void of obscenities, porn references and generalized offensive comments… Or maybe it was his miniscule ERA…
Whatever it was, it proved to be a wise decision. Behind our best defensive performance of the year, and some timely hits, the Hitmen put down the ‘boats 7-3, and retired to the bar. Some days it’s just good to be a Hitman.
