So everyone’s favorite left fielder, Lil’ Bow Wow, suckered us into playing in the CSL tournament and then skipped town. That son of a… Well, we’re stuck now, so we might as well document the debacle. Check back throughout the day for updates on our games. Or, you can follow us at twitter.com/hitmensoftball. Go Hitmen!
Normally, I use this space to recap a team effort and attempt to capture some of the flavor of the latest Hitmen game. That is all well and good. But, sometimes the performance of a single Hitman is so spectacular, so awesome, and so impressive that it is necessary to dispatch with the normal recipe and spotlight that individual. Ladies and gentlemen… Chainsaw.
In the top of the eighth inning, with the Hitmen holding a comfortable lead over Pews Your Daddy, young Chainsaw took his position in Centerfield. “Centerfield?” you ask, “I thought Chainsaw generally pitched.” Not when John Stamos is managing, apparently. Our favorite woodsman was brimming with confidence as he turned to Left Fielder Ice and said, “Anything between us is yours.” But Chainsaw is a team player and so, he readied for action and attempted to familiarize himself with his surroundings.
Looking around, our protagonist saw a fairly normal set of obstacles in the realm of Mall softball. In front of him was the normal patchy grass. To his left was a major tourist attraction — the Smithsonian carousel in this case — and behind him was a wide gravel path well traveled by families and tourists. Pretty standard fare for the CSL but also fairly dangerous if you stopped to think about it, which Chainsaw tried not to.
The inning started innocently enough. There were a couple of hits, probably an error or two. The game was already in the books, so the Hitmen’s concentration was probably not at it’s highest level of the season. And then up stepped one of the Pew’s Your Daddy power hitters. He let a couple pitches go and then unleashed a mighty swing… The ball sailed deep to right center field between Chainsaw and Hurricane.
All eyes turned skyward to admire the blast. But, when the ball began to fall back toward earth, we lost sight of it as, out of nowhere, an incredible dark cloud of dust erupted in Centerfield. As the particles flew about, Hitmen and Daddies alike had trouble discerning what was happening. The world seemed to stop as the cloud advanced over the Mall. This dark advance was accompanied by the grusome sounds of skidding, crashing and grinding. It was all quite alarming, especially when we realized that Chainsaw had gone missing, apparently absorbed — and possibly eaten — by the mysterious dust cloud. Panic abounded, especially in the person of Lennifer who lamented that her camera’s memory card was full and she had been unable to document the phenomenon.
However, as we reached the pits of despair, Chainsaw rose up from the earth like a Phoenix. He was bloodied and bruised and dirty but otherwise okay. And since he had not come within 30 yards of the ball, it was funny as hell.
Tonight’s contest against the Dinh and Tonics proved far more eventful than anyone imagined for a lazy day in July. First there was the difficulty of getting the field. Per standard procedure, Ice attempted to pass the buck to the opponent over email. However, the experienced D&T captain would have none of it. This wasn’t her first rodeo. And so, the game seemed destined to be canceled… until Knitts stepped to the forefront.
Announcing to co-workers that he had “scheduled a site visit,” he took off in search of an spot in the mid afternoon. After searching long and hard (that’s what she said) he found an open plot near 21st and Constitution — a spot which was familiar to the Hitmen since it had been the site of the USPP’s Prohibition style raid on our Miller Light a few weeks earlier. All seemed well. And it was… for awhile.
Per usual, the game started late. This was because the other team (for once) was slow to arrive and because pur starting First Basemen, Kolly, felt the need to conduct a lengthy conference call while standing under a distant tree with his beer and cigarette. Some nerve for a guy who has only shown up twice all season.
This delay meant that when Harry the Park Ranger came by and interrupted our game, we had only played three innings. Harry’s news was that the field we had selected was not approved for softball by the NPS, and that we had to move. There was some mention of the need to keep the space where we were playing clear in order to preserve the vista to and from the surrounding memorials. This argument might have been more convincing had the Park Service not erected a six foot high chained link fence between us and the memorials to which Harry was referring. Unswayed by logic and unimpressed with Ice’s mention that he had once worn the green and gray himself, Harry reiterated several times that the game must be moved.
As the situation spiraled toward an impasse, Lil Bow Wow and Murry stepped in and negotiated a stay of execution. Harry agreed to allow us to play for 30 more minutes if we said, “Please,” and “Thank you,” and promised to put our toys away afterward. It proved to be a decent arrangement for all. Harry left with the pride of a job well done and we got to play a few more innings AND get to the bar earlier. Thanks, Harry!
Well, as many Hitman and Hitwoman have pointed out, it’s been a long time since the team website was updated. There are reasons for this — some good, some bad — but why dwell on the past? The drought is over… at least for now.
On Thursday, the Hitmen took their undefeated record to the mean streets of Northeast DC for a clash with a familiar CSL adversary, the Baltimore Oracles, on the Oracles’ home field at the Ludlow-Something-Or-Another Elementary School. It promised to be a good matchup… until the Hitmen discovered that no one had brought any beer, at which point interest began to wane significantly. After all, thanks to the generosity of a few select beer gatherers — Murry and Phil chief among them — it has been quite awhile since our squad has played a game without the benefit of liquid courage. By this point, there was legitimate reason to question whether the Hitmen were even capable of playing a came which didn’t involve solo cups.
Faced with this predicament, there was a brief discussion of dispatching someone to go pick up a case — a quest, which would have involved walking all of two blocks while carrying a credit card. However, this idea was universally panned in favor of other favorite Hitmen pastimes: general laziness and complaining. Continuing the trend of apathy, so called “Captain,” Ice, proclaimed his disinterest in fulfilling any of the normal managerial duties for the game, and others wondered aloud if we should just skip the charade altogether and head straight to the bar.
Fortunately for all involved a new leader emerged from the shadows in our darkest moments of despair… Shadow, himself. Rallying the troops with promises of equal playing time, an all-expenses paid Dewey Beach vacation, and a Costco sized sack of sunflower seeds, he won back the hearts and minds of a wayward squad, which was about ready to throw in the towel. It was truly something to behold… Leadership at its finest.
Disregarding all conventional (and legal) methods of game management, Shadow made the Hitmen forget about their sober state and concentrate on the task at hand. Hit after hit, throw after throw, he led them toward softball enlightenment, like some sort of softball Buddha. Through his inspired leadership, the Hitmen discovered that, with minor effort and thoughtful juggling of the lineup, victory could be theirs, with or without a cooler of brews. And so it was… 15-5.
It’s an interesting feeling when you are driving to your softball game and the sun is shining brightly while the clouds are letting loose a deluge. On the one hand, you get the feeling that the weather may pass quickly and you might get to play. On the other hand, you wonder if your car is going to be washed into the Potomac before you can make it to the field.
Well, fortunately, for us, the weather did clear (temporarily, as we would find out) by the time most of us made it down to the Mall. Our reward? A matchup against Raisin’ Arizona – the squad that had throttled us in our season opener a year ago and gone on to finish third in the end of season tournament.
But, we are a different team than we were the last time we played them. In fact, we were a different team than the last time we played anybody, as the game saw the return of long-lost Hitmen Kbeast and Freckles. Nice to see you again, ladies! Remember us? Just in case you’ve forgotten, KB, this game isn’t played with a big red kickball.
After a getting a late start because of the weather, we began the game on a high note as Lil Bow Wow smacked a homer. Things got better from there as Detroit’s Finest, InsuranceClaim and others followed with knocks, and we built an early lead. Though the game got a little dicey later, after we let a few balls get over/under/around us, the early hits proved to be enough to hold off the cacti until a second monsoon came through and sent us scrambling for the bar. A four inning victory? We’ll take it!
Remember last week? The thrilling last inning comeback? The celebration after a clutch hit brought home the winning run? Well, the National Mall was again the scene of such a CSL contest on Thursday… Unfortunately for the Hitmen, however, we were on the other end of the score this week in our game against the Naughty Fingers. Call it bad luck, call it payback, call it a choke job. Whatever you call it, it was disappointing.
But, I’ll try to focus on the positive…
The game marked the debut of our 2009 Hitmen jerseys (thanks, Evil Twin!) so, for once, we actually looked like a team instead of a rag tag band of randos. The game also marked the season debut of veteran Hitwoman Deke, who was back from New York City to hold down the catcher position.
Spurred by these developments, we played pretty solid ball for six and a half innings. Timely — if unspectacular — hitting and relatively solid defense (especially by Hitmen standards) gave us a 12-7 lead going into the bottom of the seventh — a minor miracle considering that we had started the game shorthanded when offensive stalwarts Bow Wow and Kinger went MIA after going in search of beer… er, I mean, Gatorade. (Fortunately they returned by the third inning with thirst-quenching beverages in tow.) Indeed, things were looking positive for quite awhile.
Sadly, however, it just wasn’t meant to be. In the bottom of the seventh, the ‘Fingers rallied. A string of base hits followed by a homer spelled the Hitmen’s demise. While we wished it wasn’t so, the scorecard (a.k.a. the chicken scratch in the back of Knitts’s LSAT review book) didn’t lie. We had been bested.
Fortunately, however, we’re not a crew who worries too much about such things. Rather than dwell on the defeat, most of the traditional post-game meal at MBP was spent heckling Gabs about her new favorite nickname. “Punky Brewster” no more!
The weather was beautiful and the beverages were cold (thanks, Murry). It was a picture perfect CSL evening on the Mall. But, for six and a half innings the Hitmen threatened to ruin it… by sucking… out loud. Indeed, for the most of the game, we couldn’t do much of anything right. Whether it was overthrows and miscues in the field, or popups at the plate, or even locating the Washington Monument (sorry Gabby) we were pretty hopeless. Tonight’s opponent, We Got the Runs, took advantage, and carried a 10-6 lead into the final inning.
However, these aren’t your grandmother’s Hitmen. In a startling display of mettle and guts, the hometown NINE (not ten because some usually reliable “teammates” decided to go to the beach with their kickball buddies instead of supporting the cause — I’m looking at you, KB) rose to the occasion. It was a sight to behold.
Leading off the bottom of the seventh, Lil Bow smacked a hit off of the pitcher’s shin and Knitts drove him in with a solid knock to left. Two more hits by BigStick and Insurance Claim closed the deficit to one. And then, up stepped Kolly with a runner on third… As the band cued up the dramatic music (no really, there was a band on the stage out behind left field) our weary third basemen dug into the box (40 hour work weeks are a bitch, eh, big fella?). After taking a few pitches and fouling off another, he launched a drive to left, over the outstretched arms of the Runs’ left fielder.
Game over, suckers. Hitmen win.
After several straight days of rain, the Hitmen’s game against FDIC Too Big to Fail seemed to be in serious jeopardy. As Congressional Softball League fans know, the fields on the Mall are somewhat dicey to begin with, even under the best of conditions. Add some rain to the mix, and its a virtual obstacle course. But, what can I say? We love softball. Or, at least we love Hitmen Softball, which, of course, has very little resemblance to actual softball but anyway…
And so, while many other squads called off their games this week, we pressed on. Or, rather, a few of us pressed on. Despite the above claims about our deep commitment, attendance for the game was… shall we say… sparse. As the FDICers assembled a small army of softballers, the Hitmen could only muster a handful of players. A series of frantic phone calls yielded a lot of poor excuses and but little else, so we were still shorthanded when it came time to start the game. Unwilling to give in, however, we borrowed a catcher from the forgiving FDICers and engaged the patented Hitmen three man infield.
Thankfully this arrangement did not last long. By the second inning Harold & Davekumar (who, like Chainsaw, changed out of his office clothes on the field) appeared on the scene and Freckles arrived a short time later to take over the catching duties. Though still down a position player, we were – at long last – legit!
And we played like it! Our bats woke up and our fielding was strong. Other than a few baserunning blunders – like Ice doing a face plant between first and second – it was a solid performance. Put another win in the books!
After last week’s season opening victory, hopes were high for the Hitmen prior to our Thursday tilt against Coal Ripken, Jr. The weather was beautiful, the long weekend was about to begin, and Murry was bringing liquid refreshments down from Baltimore. Things were looking good.
Well, let’s just say the evening didn’t go quite as planned. While the Evite suggested a healthy turnout, there were only seven Hitmen on site when it came time for the game to start. Not wanting to risk the forfeit, Lil Bow Wow, and Knitts – who made his triumphant return to the Hitmen after a few years in Georgia – rallied the troops and prepared for battle. Thinking quickly, they put together a batting lineup and designed an innovative 2-infielders defense, hoping to buy time until reinforcements arrived (hopefully with a cooler and cups in tow, since Murry had been forced to leave the 30 pack in her trunk.)
For awhile, it seemed as if the strategy was working. The Hitmen scored three runs in the top of the first inning, and were able to hold the Ripkens to just one. Meanwhile, slowly, but surely, more Hitmen arrived on the scene. Ice appeared from behind the World War II memorial. A short time later, EvilTwin and JohnStamos wandered in from the thickets beyond left field. Soon we had a full complement of fielders.
Strangely, however, as our ranks swelled, our performance seemed to slip – the bats grew quiet and our fielding (especially in centerfield) grew lazy. Unfortunately, it all added up to a 12-9 defeat for the Hitmen. It was disappointing, but we kept it in perspective as the conversation soon turned to more important subjects, like whether to head to MBP, or just pop open the trunk of Murry’s Jetta.
After our scheduled contest with the Baltimore Oracles was canceled due to weather, the Hitmen had to wait a week to get the 2009 campaign underway. But, with the weather clear, all signs were go for our matchup with the Vista Cruisers.
If the first inning was any indication, perhaps the rain last week washed away our normal barrage first game miscues as well. Indeed, while everyone expected the worst (akin to previous season openers), the new season actually started off uncharacteristically well for the hometown nine (ten?). Batting first (in a creative — but effective — lineup that he created himself) John Stamos smacked an home run to right to give the Hitmen a 1-0 lead. In the bottom of the frame, Stamos baffled the Cruisers with his southpaw delivery, and set them down 1-2-3.
While subsequent innings saw us return to normal Hitmen form on occasion (overthrows, errors and popups), our performance was pretty solid overall. We scored enough the keep the Cruisers at bay and were able to shut them down in the end, even as the light grew dim on the Mall. All in all, it was a solid start to the new season, deserving of the pitchers of beer we secured at Kolly’s/Donald’s/Murry’s Brother’s Place.
Special shout outs…
Looking for back to back wins for the first time in quite awhile, the Hitmen took to the Mall again on Thursday. This week’s opponent? The Showboats squad that unceremoniously dispatched us from the end of the season tourney in 2007.
The evening started out inauspiciously. First came the rain. Then came the crickets when the opposing manager inquired about whether the Hitmen had bases and other necessary items for softball play…. After 7 years, you’d think we’d have this CSL thing down by now, but apparently not. Who manages this team, anyway? Somebody should fire that guy.
Fortunately for the Hitmen, however, things got considerably better from there. Stepping in as pitcher, the Weatherman brought calm and clear conditions to the diamond, setting the ‘boats down in order in the first inning. This caused a bit of confusion to the rest of the Hitmen who have grown accustomed to starting the game with a lengthy parade of fielding errors, errant throws and boneheaded mistakes on their way to a multi-run deficit.
Drawing on his experience playing in other leagues, however, the Weatherman convinced us that it was alright–even preferable–to hurry through the opening frame with three consecutive outs so that we could get up to bat. While we were initially skeptical, we decided to follow his lead. There was something so convincing about him. Perhaps it was his calm manner, noticeably void of obscenities, porn references and generalized offensive comments… Or maybe it was his miniscule ERA…
Whatever it was, it proved to be a wise decision. Behind our best defensive performance of the year, and some timely hits, the Hitmen put down the ‘boats 7-3, and retired to the bar. Some days it’s just good to be a Hitman.
After taking the holiday week off, the Hitmen returned to the diamond on Thursday attempting to turn their season around and start a win streak. In order to do so, however, they would have to overcome the CPB Borderliners and their beloved strike mat. It was a certain to be a challenge given the Borderliner’s relative skill and their penchant for gerrymandering.
Fortunately for all dressed in blue (that is our color this year, right?) the Hitmen were up to the task. After observing their traditional slow start, the good guys woke up in the third inning and proceeded to unleash several weeks worth of aggression upon the Borderliners. Powered by some moonshots from Kinger and Stanto, the squad plated 14 runs in the third frame alone to take the lead for good. The bombardment left the Borderliners demoralized and caused various dumb tourists to scurry for cover. In the end, the Hitmen ruled the day with a 24-16 victory.
Of course, the game was not without controversy, however. What would be the fun in that? Indeed the game’s most memorable sequence (to everyone except 3rd Out, perhaps) was a close play at the plate which ended with our favorite catcher taking a ball and glove to the noggen. The out call by the ‘liner’s umpire set up a screaming match between the Hitmen’s #1 obscenity spewer and the ‘liner’s loudmouth coach.
What rhymes with “sucking”? Wait… J.R., you are not allowed to answer that… It would give you too much pleasure.
Yes, it was another rough Thursday for the Hitmen. While hopes ran high to start a real winning streak, the bats and gloves did not cooperate and the Hitmen fell to a ragtag Affairs Not Relations squad by a score of 14-11 (if you believe the Affairs’ “scorebook”).
Questionable scorekeeping aside, the Hitmen’s performance was remarkably unremarkable. Indeed, this one followed the now all-too-familiar pattern: Start the game by making 6-8 errors in the first inning. Fall behind big. Finally wake up and realize that there is a softball game going on and, holy shit, our team is playing in it. Stage a late rally that is almost–but not quite enough–to overcome the deficit. Chalk up another loss in the standings.
I think I’ve seen this movie before. It was called Hitmen vs. Raising Arizona… or Hitmen vs. Borderliners… or Hitmen vs. Minnesota 5lb Bass. Time to write a new script.
It brings joy to a softball captain’s heart when he arrives on the Mall to see a mass of teammates jerseys already gathered, ready to play. It sure beats the shit out of frantic phone calls trying to round enough enough warm bodies to field a squad.
Today was on of those glorious days. The Hillbilly bunch came out en force, numbering sixteen strong for this week’s contest against the Walk-Us Caucus. Everywhere you looked, there was a Hitman or Hitwoman.
In addition to the usual cast of characters, we welcomed back famed Hitmen alums BCEagle and Euro Trash, who were in town for their customary beach weekend of drunken debauchery. Despite pre-game predictions of rustiness, they looked as if they hadn’t missed a beat.
So, too, did Stanto, who returned to the squad after a few weeks off tending to his in-laws, child and other adult-type responsibilities. Exhibiting pinpoint control, Pops hurled two perfect innings on the mound (or manhole cover, as the case may have been) before turning the ball over to WhoShotJR. It was a sign of good things to come for the Hitmen, who sent wave after wave of mashers to the plate and around the bases on our way to a big victory.
It feels good to be back in the win column, so I won’t ruin the mood by discussing our showing on the flip cup table later…
It’s the headline no one wanted to read but, alas, it’s true. In the teams’ first matchup since last year’s testy contest, the Hillbilly Hitmen fell to the Minnesota 5lb Bass on the fields of Anacostia… or River Terrace… or Benning Park… or wherever the bass play these days.
On this day the Hitmen were foiled by piss poor defense and general apathy in the early innings. The Bass’s insistence on playing with a Nerf ball did not help matters. But, in the final analysis we can blame no one but ourselves. Neither a late innings power boost from BigStick (after we got serious with the Serious Softball) or Chainsaw and IHeartKickball’s arrival with our brand new jerseys were enough to spur us to victory. Apparently we just aren’t very good fishermen…
This realization, it seems, was too much for our supposedly calm and collected pitcher, WhoShotJR, to handle. As the rest of us gathered at game’s end to consume the last of the Miller Light, JR made a hasty retreat to his car. Within seconds, the only evidence of his presence was a still-fresh trail of f-bombs and a small pile of Kolly’s personal belongings, which JR offloaded before speeding away. Fortunately paparazzi photographer Murry was on the case and captured JR’s retreat in some sweet action photos.
As dedicated fans of the Hitmen well know, we are not a group that likes to be hemmed in by rules and regulations. This attitude makes us a perfect match for the CSL, a league which, as far as anyone knows, has no actual rules. It’s pretty much an anything-goes atmosphere. Umpires? Nah… Balls and strikes? Not recommended… Illegal alcohol consumption? You bet… It seems, however, that some do not share our love for softball anarchy.
As it turned out, tonight’s adversary, the CPB Borderliners, a crew of staffers and guards from the Department of Homeland Security, are one such group. From the magic carpet behind the plate to the precisely measured bases, the Borderliners exhibited a softball seriousness seldom seen on the Mall in the summertime. It was, quite frankly, a bit strange and a tad bit alarming…
Still, the Hitmen fought gamely in the unfamiliar environs. After falling behind early when the law enforcers gerrymandered a foul ball into a grand slam (it’s amazing how the rules change when you have the opportunity to plate four runs), the Hitmen fought back.
As our bats woke up, 7 year vet Murry kept the border guards down with some stellar glove work at second base. Flashing the leather left and right, she stabbed sharp grounder after sharp grounder frustrating the border guards and their crazy first basemen/umpire/mascot “Art.” Initially content to flip the ball to the shortstop for the force out, Murry soon began handling things on her own, choosing to race baserunners to the bag with her superhuman speed. Cue the dramatic background music…
On the mound, WhoShotJR kept the Borderliner bats cool most of the night, and kept himself cool as well, except for a few errant F-Bombs when a tourist chose to aid the opposition. Fortunately, the Weatherman was on the scene to restore mild and temperate conditions when necessary.
In the end, the game didn’t go our way as the Hitmen fell by a count of 16-11. But, it was a fun evening. I will even (begrudgingly) admit that playing with balls and strikes and “rules” can only serve us well in the future. Still, for the record, that ball was #$%^& foul. One would think the border guards would be a little better at minding the boundaries.
Historically, the Hitmen have stood for all things that are good and pure about Congressional League Softball… general disinterest rules, a love of flip cup, and a deep animosity toward the kickballers. In recent years, however, this third tenant has been muted a bit as certain members of our squad (I’m looking at you KBeast and Teach) have decided to double dip. While we forgive them for these transgressions (sort of… sometimes… not really), every now and then we need to return to our roots.
Last Thursday’s game on the Washington Monument grounds proved to be one of those times. While the schedule will show that the contest was against the Megawamps softball team, our true enemy this day was the legion of green and red clad kickballers occupying left field. They might as well have been a giant target.
Starting in the first inning, Hitmen sluggers took aim, launching blast after blast into the kiddie game. It was great entertainment to watch them scatter and scurry as real balls from a real sport fell from the heavens upon them. The barrage continued until the Hitmen had rounded the bases some 36 times, each step a declaration of dominance, on the way to victory.
If you ask me, we should get credit for 2 wins… and a medal of honor.
After last week’s disappointing debut, many around the Congressional Softball League questioned whether the Hitmen had lost the softball acumen they had displayed in previous seasons. Perhaps their window of greatness had closed, said the critics… Not so fast, my friends…
Facing Jesse and the Rippers, the multi-clad Hitmen came to play, exhibiting skills that were almost entirely absent last week. Rising to the competition, the local bunch turned in some stellar fielding (when was the last time anyone witnessed a true double play on the CSL diamond?) and timely hitting on the way to an exciting 11-10 victory over the #1 ranked team in the CSL.
Highlights included a homer by InsuranceClaim, back-to-back glove-and-gun plays from the Weatherman and a twinkle-toes maneuver at first base by our esteemed pitcher (who, incidentally, promises to be a kinder-gentler soul in ‘08).
No doubt the Rippers were also hurt by the absence of JohnStamos, the man who inspired their very existence. In a strategic move, Stamos chose not to make his presence felt at the game until the fifth inning, opting instead to wander around the woods along Independence Avenue.
While the Rippers wallowed in self pity at being denied by their namesake, the Hitmen had others to pick up the slack, with some trusted veterans making their 2008 debuts. 7-year Itman Murry made the venture down from Baltimore and once again demonstrated a remarkable ability to make time stand still while running the bases. Utility man extraordinaire Shadow was also back in the mix as was Mr. Anger Management, WhoShot J.R. and his tidy E.R.A.
While we hoped it would be different, the 2008 Hitmen campaign began with a whimper Thursday evening on a soggy field in Anacostia. Taking on Raising Arizona, the good guys (and gals!) demonstrated what a winter of beer drinking and pizza eating can do to a not-as-young-as-we-used-to-be set of (mostly) twentysomething softballers… Shockingly these favorite pastimes do little to contribute to one’s ability to catch, run or hit a softball. Who knew?
Yes. It was an ugly scene. Perhaps the only saving graces of the evening were InsuranceClaim’s unintentional plunking of a Raising Arizona baserunner’s noggen and Ice’s diving grab in the mud to keep the Hitmen within 10 runs of victory. Other than that, our performance pretty much sucked. There were enough bad throws, dropped balls, missed calls (I think someone was summoning JR), and weak hits to last a season.
Fortunately, however, there was also cold Coor’s Light awaiting us at My Brother’s Place after the game. So, while the game was lost (in spectacular fashion), the evening was a win.
When Hitmen rolled out of bed this morning at the ungodly hour that was required for them to to make their 10:30am tournament game in Fairfax, the day was filled with optimism. It was a beautiful day, the squad was well rested (since most of them blew off the final regular season game) and spirits were high. Perhaps this would be the Hitmen’s year? After a history of mediocrity, and a pitiful performance in their last tournament appearance (2005), the squad seemed primed for a breakout performance.
And then the game started…
My, how quickly things can change. I’ll leave the analysis of what went wrong to future nights when we are filled with liquid wisdom. For now, it will suffice to say that it was not our best performance of the year and our opponents, the Showboats, took advantage of their opportunities… in spades. The gory details–dutifully kept by Walt–are available on the live game reports area of the site.
Despite the disappointing conclusion to the 2007 campaign, it remains one of the most enjoyable in recent memory. As veterans departed, new faces came into the fold, picking up the Hitmen mantle of general frivolity and sometime softball excellence competence. Thanks to all ‘07 Hitmen. May the tradition live on.
With the end of the season tournament on the horizon, several usually dependable Hitmen decided to take the night off on Thursday. We’ll assume it was to rest up for the weekend’s events and not for other, less acceptable, reasons such as “a Nats game” or “work”. Whatever the cause, the temporary vacations left the Hitmen short handed for their scheduled matchup against the Commissioner’s own Yellow Journalists squad.
Despite fielding only nine players–one short of the requisite ten–it was a proud day for the Hitmen. Those who made the trek out to East Potomac park put forth a valiant effort, battling the Commish and his band of writers tough until dusk. After falling behind 8-1 in the first two innings, the Hitmen battled back, once again led by our band of female softball assassins. On defense, EvilTwin and Hatch shut down the opposition by snagging all the fly balls in their vicinity. At bat, Murry led the offensive comeback, strategically placing her left ass cheek in the path of the left fielder’s throw to the plate in order to score a run. While she may have to spend her Friday with ice in her office chair, her efforts did not go unnoticed by her teammates, who battled back to tie the score in the 4th inning.
Unfortunately, the rally would fall short on this night when the Journalists tacked on a few additional runs in the 5th. By then, however, the Hitmen had turned thier attention to more important matters like where we should go to nourish ourselves after the game. We eventually decided upon My Brother’s Place where we an unnamed Hitwoman (who may or may not have the initials KB) made us forget the defeat with her moves on the bar. Watch out, ladies, there’s a new sheriff in town.
With a win by forfeit, the Hitmen narrowed the “Margin of Terror,†a cryptically named-and-obviously not-so-tough 3-9 team sponsored by a progressive political consulting firm.
Succumbing first to the “heat,†the Margins were spared a bruising defeat at the bats of the Hitmen. But had they shown up, the Marginal Terrors would have been withered instead by line drives from BCEagle, Ice, Knitts and Deke—who would have swung for the fences in what was to be her last game of the season.
Ready to crack open chilled beverages in any weather conditions short of nuclear winter, the Hitmen look forward to facing the commissioner’s very own Yellow Journalists next week—the two teams’ first match-up in recent memory.
Thursday’s tilt against the Minnesota 5lb Bass was much anticipated for a couple of reasons. First of all, the game marked the annual return of centerfielder extraordinaire Chris C., (Hitmen ‘03) who was in town for his annual visit home from Boston. Secondly, the game provided a long awaited opportunity for revenge following the Bass’ two game sweep lof the Hitmen last year.
Thanks to some solid play–and questionable umpiring–on both sides, the game turned into a rather tense matchup by CSL standards. This is to say that players on the sidelines actually looked up while pouring themselves another frosty beverage from the cooler, rather than displaying their normal level of oblivion/disinterest. The game went back and forth in the early innings, the Bass being helped by a debatable non-out at 1st base and the Hitmen aided by WhoShotJR’s gerrymandering of the foul line.
Going into the late innings, the Hitmen held a slim 10-9 lead. Some timely hitting and aggressive baserunning allowed us to tack on a five spot before the Bass came up for their final hacks. With darkness falling, however, the outcome was still very much in doubt. The Hitmen would need some good glove work to put the game away… Led by Doc who gunned down the Bass’ leadoff batter from the hot corner and Deke who snagged a foul pop with her quick reflexes behind the plate, we got it.
And so, after the post game pleasantries and photograph, it was off to the bar to celebrate our 11th win of the year.
The Hitmen’s march through the CSL regular season continued on Thursday night with another solid performance against the Cobras. While there were a number of standouts, the Hitmen women, in particular, deserve recognition, starting with Shooter who staked out a spot on the Mall at 12:30pm and baked beneath the July sun for six hours in the name of Hitmen softball. Hours later when everyone else arrived for the game, she unleashed a storm of offensive fury with the bat, smacking hits all over the ground she had guarded so vigilantly all afternoon. Her commitment to our cause makes her immune for verbal barbs about her love of kickball and Glamour magazine–at least until next week.
Filling in on the mound for our various absent pitchers, Hatch kept the Cobra bats coiled for four innings before handing the ball to John Stamos, who had fortunately survived a dog attack while rounding third base earlier in the game (see video). The two of them demonstrated a crafty command of the strike zone, frustrating the snakes all game long. While we don’t keep track of pitching ERA (because this is slow pitch softball played on the Mall amidst tourists and the homeless, and because we already go way over the top by maintaining a team Web site) the Hatch-Uncle Jesse tandem may well have set a modern day Hitmen record for hurling. Of course the only way to verify this point would be to run cross check against the stats that WhoShotJR stores in his head. But, for fear of what else we might find in there, I suggest we refrain.
Other highlights included recent bar survivor X’s debut for the season and the triumphant return of Hitmen veteran Knitts who reclaimed his spot in the infield. A special shout out also goes to Murry, whose commanding presence and skilled use of legal jargon frightened the US Park Police into retracting the ticket that they were poised to place on the windshield of her Jetta.
All in all, it was a good day for the Hitmen…
Actually, the above headline is not at all accurate. To imply that all of the Hitmen team braved the elements is a gross misrepresentation of the facts. In reality, only EvilTwin, our esteemed right-fielder/left-fielder/second-base woman/field reservation queen can truly make such a claim. For it was she–not anyone else–who lugged her laptop, cooler and personal effects onto to Mall and spent the afternoon huddled under an umbrella in the name of Hitmen softball. Amidst a deluge which chased others to their cars, and drove the homeless into the museums, EvilTwin stood her ground. For her efforts, the rest of us had the pleasure of playing in the lush green grass in front of the Smithsonian–truly prime real estate for a CSL tilt, especially on a Thursday evening.
The Hitmen would not let the hard earned plot go to waste. Despite being a little shorthanded, the squad’s makeshift lineup proved worthy of the KW All Stars challenge. While the offense did not put on the spectacular display that Hitmen fans have come to expect, it was an all around solid performance. Behind some timely hitting and solid fielding, the home team wore down their opponents mentally and physically en route to a 12-6 win.
The mental grind of the contest became evident in the 6th inning when Ice and a tall New Yorker looking dude exchanged birds and four letter words while discussing a play at first base. In a strange revearsal of roles, WhoShotJR provided calming words to the Hitmen skipper after the incident (which , incidentally was decided–correctly, I might add–in the Hitmen’s favor). Sometimes a manager has to stick up for his squad, even if it is just slow pitch softball.
Tonight’s game against the MBA Loan Stars was a much anticipated contest on a number of counts. First of all, the Hitmen would get to play on a real honest-to-goodness softball field for the first time all season. Having played amidst the tourists on the Mall and the knee-high grass in Anacostia, the Loan Stars home field at the Jellef Boys & Girls Club was a majestic site. Lines and bases and a backstop! This isn’t your father’s Congressional Softball League.
Our game against the Loans Stars also marked the debut of our 2007 Hitmen jerseys, a prospect that excited just about everyone, with the possible exception of Murry who apparently has an aversion to the color orange. The new threads seemed to treat us right. As has been an encouraging pattern in recent weeks, the Hitmen jumped out to an early lead on their way to a 12-7 victory.
It was and all around solid performance with contributions from everybody. Standouts included InsuranceClaim and Stanto who blasted homers and the Weatherman who made sure it was an overcast night for the Loan Stars with some stellar play at the hot corner.
With the victory in hand, it was on to Cactus Cantina for some well-earned post-game refreshment. KBeast amused all with her typical array of stories and banter. The highlight of the evening–for all besides JohnStamos–was the game of credit card roulette for the final bill. Undoubtedly Stamos’s bad luck was a direct result of his decision to adorn his 2007 jersey with an alternative moniker–”El Diablo.” C’mon, Uncle Jesse. What would the girls think? You’re still a guitar strumming sitcom star, no matter what you write on your back.
With the mercury hovering near triple digits, the Hitmen took the field for their final Monday contest of the season this evening. While the schedule listed the Dutko Worldwide Megawamps as the evening’s opponent, the Hitmen (and Hitwomen) in attendance soon found themselves facing a second–even more threatening–adversary: stone cold sobriety. Thanks partly to the rumored police crackdown on beer drinking on the Mall and mostly to general disorganization/lack of planning/laziness, the hometown squad was without beer on the hottest day of the year. It was a truly sad state of affairs and, certainly, would have been reasonable cause for most teams to phone it in. Fortunately, however, the Hitmen have a little more mettle than most teams.
It didn’t take long for us to prove it. Back to back homers by JohnStamos and BigStick gave us the lead in the first inning, and steady hitting the rest of the way kept the game out of reach. Though some fielding miscues in the late innings provided some temporary drama, the final outcome was never really in doubt. This fact was perhaps best exemplified by Shooter who removed herself from the game and spent the final four innings reading Glamour magazine on the sidelines. Not even JohnStamos’s open door policy at 3rd base seemed to cause her any consternation.
As it turned out, there was no reason to panic. EvilTwin was on the case, ever ready to make up for Uncle Jesse’s mishaps with her stellar play in left field. (Note: Unfortunately, the skipper didn’t get his act together enough to film any of the numerous spectacular plays by EvilTwin, having exhausted the camera battery on his own in-game interview. See below.)
Other notes…
Deke made her 2007 season debut. After successfully completing the online league registration just moments before gametime, she caught a solid 5 innings behind the plate, and kept close tabs on the the area between the batter and the backup catcher…
Doc returned after a long hiatus. The last we saw of him he was pocketing 4 bucks from the challenge bet on the flip cup table. Apparently his winnings funded a month-long vacation.
Demonstrating a rare display of power reminiscent of the olden days in which dinosaurs roamed the earth, Ice hit his first homer of the season in the second inning. In a show of tremendous vanity he then forced Walt to interview him on camera for the hitmensoftball.org Web site. Ice then returned home and wrote up this game story, consistently referring to himself in the third person.
Having played only one (less-than-stellar) game over the last few weeks, rustiness was a legitimate worry for the Hitmen in their Thursday tilt against the EPA’s Gang of Green. Thankfully, these concerns proved unwarranted. Aside from a 1-2-3 top of the first inning, the Hitmen bats were lively and steady. By the middle innings, the good guys had built a sizable lead and cruised to a victory behind the heavy hitting of BigStick, InsuranceClaim, Poppa Stanto and others.
While scoring was held down somewhat by the conservative ground rules requested by the EPA, and the general uphill slope of the diamond, it was an all-around positive performance for the Hitmen, offensively and defensively. This was a good thing on many levels, not the least of which was the fact that it enabled WhoShotJR to contain his inner rage. Having glimpsed the fire that burns within our esteemed hurler during our last game, all in attendance were thankful for a more relaxed contest this time around.
With apologies to Shooter, Slugger, KBeast and the other two-timers that we have within our ranks, the game also marked a major strategic victory for the greater cause of softball on the National Mall. Shortly after InsuranceClaim’s second inning blast bounced into the rear of a kickballer squatting in left centerfield, the tribe of WAKA enthusiasts abandoned their advance onto our territory, deciding to seek more accommodating surrounds for their children’s game elsewhere. It was a sweet sight to watch them retreat with their coolers and giant red ball in tow. See ya, suckers!
While we hoped it wouldn’t be so, most of us familiar with the mediocre history of the Hitmen figured this day would eventually come. After a strong start to the 2007 campaign, the Hitmen dropped their first game of the season on Monday evening, thus ending the dream of the perfect year.
Early on, it appeared that our spring of undefeated bliss might last another week. Leadoff batter Fish smashed a comebacker through the box, slowed only by its sudden impact into the chest of the Ticklers’ pitcher. (Let the record show that we are good sports. After the assault, Dr. Fish did offer his services to the injured opponent.) F-Bomb followed with a single and then BigStick clobbered a home run. Three batters… three runs… Not bad.
Unfortunately, this proved to be the high point of the game for the local squad. Playing with a jumbled lineup, which had many folks out of their normal positions, the Hitmen defense struggled to slow the Ticklers on the basepaths. While the game remained close in the early innings, the Ticklers built a substantial lead with a fifth inning rally aided by a comedy of Hitmen errors. It proved too much to overcome.
All were disappointed with the outcome and WhoShotJR was near suicidal or homicidal (we’re not sure which so everyone kept their distance). On the bright side of things, the game saw the first 2007 appearance of Slugger and the long awaited return of Shooter, which provided many opportunities for kickball needling. Welcome back, ladies!
Conceding to a classic federal government Catch-22, Homeland called off their pursuit of the Hitmen tonight.
Unable to hold a field on the Mall, yet unwilling to cross the Rio Anacostia, the customs and border control folks couldn’t get their act together. The “Borderliners” finally ran out of excuses when Jess, Kyle, Nate and noble stand-in Hitmen leader JohnStamos slipped back into the city and set up camp on the south bank of the Reflecting Pool under cover of broad daylight. The opposing team blamed low numbers and called it a day, suggesting amnesty for all.
How the feds’ shenanigans will play out in the league rankings is unclear, but at least they didn’t get the chance to make any arrests.
After spending the past several weeks playing on the edge of the earth (a.k.a. Anacostia Park), the Hillbilly Hitmen found their way on the Mall for this week’s contest against the creatively named “Softballers.” All were excited as the prospect of swinging the bats and flashing the leather in the shadow of our nation’s memorials. In our collective glee, we managed to forget what a royal pain in the ass it can be to park one’s car downtown on a Thursday night. Needless to say, we were quickly reminded. This combined with further difficulties locating the field delayed the start of the game be nearly 45 minutes, much to the frustration of our esteemed opponents who had been reserving the plot since 11am.
Whatever guilt we might have felt was soon replaced by a competitive fire. With our perfect record was once again on the line the Hitmen stepped to the plate (and to the cooler) with a mission. Other than a blooper-filled bottom of the fifth inning in which the Hitmen let just about everything evade their gloves, the squad put together a very solid effort. Poppa-to-be Stanto announced his return to the team with two round trippers and a triple which caused a minor traffic accident in right field. Bow Wow once again displayed giddy-up of a teenaged rap star, hauling in shot after shot to left field. In the three spot in the lineup, the Weatherman rained down on the Softballers, blasting his first Hitmen homer in the third inning. Others stepped up as well and the Hitmen rolled to a 13-7 win.
Due to less-than-expected turnout (these “hockey” and “kickball” excuses are getting old, folks), there were a number of of cold beverages left over when the final out was recorded. Not ones to leave a job unfinished, the Hitmen rallied together and put in a few extra innings next to the cooler before heading off for further nourishment at a local establishment.
Another Thursday meant another trip to Anacostia for the 2007 Hitmen. Battling an undermanned (and underwomanned) Loose Cannons squad, the Hitmen looked to improve their record to 4-0. With workman-like efficiency, they set about their task, only slightly distracted by the slew of used hypodermic needles and jimmy hats littering the field. Their diligence would be rewarded. Behind solid fielding and a steady barrage of base knocks, the team lived up to its name and cruised to a 21-3 victory.
With the victory in hand, the home team made a hasty retreat to a local watering hole where talk soon turned to flip cup. After some intersquad warm-up rounds, the spirited bunch challenged a neighboring table to a battle for bar supremacy. This proved to be a poor decision. Held back by some serious dead weight in the form of John Stamos and Ice, the hunters quickly became the hunted. Much to their collective chagrin, the orange-clad Florida State Society squad proved to be a firey blaze of dexterity. Despite a valiant effort, the Hitmen flip-cuppers were unable to match the efforts of their adversaries.
All was not lost, however. When the FSS proposed a one-on-one bet for cash, Doc emerged victorious and pocketed a cool four dollars. That’s the way the Hitmen roll, suckers.
After failed attempts to secure a spot on the Mall, the Hitmen traveled to Anacostia Park for their Memorial Day weekend tilt against the Baltimore Oracles. The trip proved to be fruitful. Only slightly slowed by the shin high grass, the local squad pounced early, scoring five runs in the top of the first inning on their way to a 15-2 win.
Even more promising than the score was the fact that for the first time in recent memory the Hitmen were able to field a full squad AND have players left over to guard the cooler. It was a sight to behold. Somewhere (probably Knoxville, TN) the Great BT approves.
The large turnout can be attributed to the explosion of new faces on the roster. With the additions of F-Bomb, X and the Weatherman, we are now equipped with at least five lawyers within our ranks (six if we can coax Hot Rod to jump through his ring of fire and out of retirement.) The medical profession is also well represented, by Fish, Mike and Paige who can all duel over the right to sport the name “Doc” on the back of their jerseys… Nate also represented himself quite well in his first game.
Superlatives…
I’d like to give out performance based awards but, frankly, I don’t remember much about the actual game because I wasn’t really paying that much attention. (See the shoddy scorebook for the damning evidence of this fact.) So, instead, I nominate Murry and LilBowWow for the inaugural Rush Hour award. Murry gets it being the first one to the field after coming all the way down from Baltimore on Memorial Day weekend getaway day. BowWow wins because anyone who is willing to ride his mountain bike down 295 for softball should get some sort of recognition… and a sturdy helmet.
After their seasoning opening win on Thursday evening, the Hitmen were primed for their Monday showdown with the National Association of Realtors, even if it meant TIVOing the season finale of 24. Word on the street was that veteran second basewoman Murry would be making the trek down from her new digs in Baltimore for the contest. All were excited about the prospect, particularly the law enforcement authorities on the prowl for beer drinkers.
Alas, Murry’s 2007 debut would have to wait another few days as the Realtors backed out a few hours before the first pitch. The excuse which was provided referenced fatigue from a national homesellers covention last week. We’d like to think, however, that fear was the true motivation for the change of plans. Apparently our reputation on the diamond precedes us.
Trying to buck the trend of slow starts in recent years, the 2007 Hitmen took the field with a strong sense of purpose in their Thursday tilt against the Department of Transportation’s Diamond Doves. The offense got an immediate jolt when Lil Bow Wow hammered a homer to right field to lead off the game. Perhaps a sign of things to come in ‘07? Let’s hope so.
Not to be intimidated, the Doves rallied back. With the help of some trademark shoddy fielding, and general laziness on the part of the Hitmen, the D.O.T. took a 7-5 lead after the third inning. Briefly, it appeared as if they might put a win on their resume.
This day, however, belonged to the Hitmen. In the top of the fourth inning, the Hitmen unleashed an offensive barrage the likes of which few (and certainly none on our team) have ever seen before. The Doves had nowhere to hide as blasts from the Hitmen bats rained down on them for a solid half hour. In the fourth inning alone, the Hitmen batted around three times (nine if you count the multiple times that the skipper got confused and sent Paige H. to the plate out of order) and scored somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 runs (I’ll look up the exact number later when I’m feeling more motivated).
It was a good start to the season, with stars aplenty. Lil Bow Wow finished with three homers, WhoShotJR added two roundtrippers of his own (including one grand slam) and Shooter went 5 for 5. Walt also managed to fit in a four bagger even while carrying out his responsibilities as the team photographer.
Whether you (buy windows 2008 enterprise) prefer to do it in house or outsource the job there is no business that can not benefit for NCOALink services. For example buy vista windows 7 when a user downloads a. All Windows buy autocad light OS have a registry but perhaps you have never heard of it before. Instead the buy adobe photoshop lightroom 2 innovative use of computer software in BPM ranges from process modeling to sharing and security applications to business activity monitoring applications and more. An example, purchase microsoft office word 2007, of an IP address is 123. Handling of buy microsoft office professional plus 2007 the trucking business was made apparently simple and easy by this software. a word buy microsoft office onenote processor facilitates the creation of text documents) but rather it is a combination of many kinds of software all created to serve one end goal. Lately Google buy photoshop student introduced different office applications.
Even they buy adobe acrobat 8.0 have a calendar where they can maintain the records of their personal and professional appointment. Every network purchase adobe captivate 3 is identified by a specific IP address. How are buy office 2007 canada Viruses and Spyware Different from One Another. Do you buy adobe flash cs4 professional have an antivirus program installed on your computer called System Defender. Over use (buying windows direct) of animation and special affects can look unprofessional and reduce your credibility. It can buy visual studio 2008 also recover password from. All combinations buy windows xp professional product key with characters and numbers. Unfortunately this purchase windows xp sp2 is a hoax and nothing more than attempts by a spyware program itself to get you to not only download it and thus infect your computer but also to scare you into paying for bogus security software. That's why purchase win xp you need a registry cleaner and repair software. Your best (buy dreamweaver mac) bet for completely removing a Trojan Virus off your computer is to download and install a top shelf spyware removal tool. What this buy vista activation key means is that you are storing the instructions and not the results. ZIP file buy microsoft project standard 2007 from the latest backup. Ensure that buy cs3 web premium the cleaner that you choose has some type of recovery just in case you erroneously make some type error that can further damage your computer. In cases buy microsoft word cheap where you randomly generated a non linear or non sequential password the brute force will probably be your best bet. 14400 IN purchase office 2007 online A 569. The best purchase windows vista operating system solution is to have an amalgam of the three password cracking attack types all working to recover that password and it will work in many instances.
Even though buy windows from microsoft most people believe that a Trojan Virus is what it says it is which is a virus the reality is that a Trojan is actually a type of spyware that is written for the purpose of retrieving vital information from your computer such as passwords as well as credit card and bank account information. An increasing buy microsoft office 2007 student discount number of healthcare providers and practices are outsourcing their medical billingOutsourcing billing is a way that doctors and medical centers can cut costs. ZIP file purchase vista key from microsoft becomes inaccessible. First you buy acrobat 9 need to be aware exactly what a Trojan Virus is and how harmful it can be to not only your computer but to your finances as well. Comply Track buy windows vista upgrade Suite is another software solution that includes healthcare compliance software and effective risk management solutions for the healthcare industry.
White SpaceMake buy microsoft windows xp online use of white space. Are you buy win xp pro sp2 presenting this on a large screen. When choosing buy xp cd key a registry cleaner the first thing you should ensure is that you're choosing the right cleaner that is compatible with you computer's specifications. samplehostname purchase xp key. As you buy cs4 student are able to store several tables within an Access database it enables you to organise your data more logically and efficiently. This way (buy windows volume license) you can specify the high and low ends (or range of values) for each password position. While all buy vista cd these are warnings are false they look legitimate. Face Your buy windows xp restore disk Audience. Access is buy windows key better at maintaining data integrity accessible by multiple users whereas Excel is adept at manipulating complex numerical data that needs to be analysed in depth.
This software buy xp pro sp2 is definitely for illustration page layout and vector drawing. A lot buy visual studio 6.0 of times it will tell you that you will be sent advertising by downloading their program. Collection Main buy microsoft word for vista Window. Migration reads buy windows key online Btrieve tables of Great Plains Accounting and moves the data to Microsoft Great Plains tablesDo I need consultant. The main buy dreamweaver uk types of Spyware are:Key loggers: This type of Spyware copies everything you type to a file and send it to the hacker. Former product buy windows xp product key online name was Great Plains Dynamics / eEnterprise. The software (buy windows server 2003 web edition) has pre designed formats of processing and closing documents that are reviewed by the most prominent lawyers in the mortgage lending field to ensure accuracy and compliance with all laws regulating the industry.
This so purchase windows xp pro licence far is the best alternative to Microsoft Office. Trojan programs buy windows vista dvd viruses and Internet worms often contain keyloggers too. It is purchase xp pro cd key Dexterity chunk file and it will be integrated the next time you launch Great Plains Workstation. And security (buy windows xp cd key) experts confirm remote deployment of surveillance software is sharply on the rise. The very buy microsoft windows xp online principle is often the same.
Keyloggers can purchase office 2007 home and student be also included into freeware and shareware. Unfortunately they buy windows 2008 web edition are mistaken. Nevertheless there purchase xp 64 bit are some vendors who advertise monitoring products with "remote deployment" i. This utility purchase windows vista home basic is very useful for dealing with customers who are repeat borrowers. If you purchase adobe dreamweaver cs3 don't remove spyware from your computer it will eventually not work at all or your computer files will become infected by spyware programs. Both versions: buy photoshop 7 for mac old and new are Great Plains Dexterity written and Dexterity itself was planned as database and computer platform independent / transferable shell back in earlier 1990th. Get a buy windows xp professional india FirewallIf you are using Windows XP with Service Pack 2 you are probably fine. Its time (buying windows direct) to call your tech support. Great Plains buy microsoft office 2003 standard Dexterity is proprietary programming language and technology designed back to earlier 1990th with the goal to build platform independent graphical accounting package Great Plains Dynamics. Small companies buy microsoft office 2007 oem use Small Business Manager (which is based on the same technology Great Plains Dexterity dictionary and runtime) Great Plains Standard on MSDE is for small to midsize clients and then Great Plains serves the rest of the market up to big corporations. In a purchase vista home premium nutshell Adware is more annoying than it is dangerous. Get a buy adobe photoshop uk FirewallIf you are using Windows XP with Service Pack 2 you are probably fine. help@albaspectrum buy office 2007 professional upgrade. Obviously it purchase microsoft office software requires a lot of learning / training but it allows your custom piece be seamlessly integrated with Great Plains interface. You can buy cs4 design premium always appeal to us to help you with your system.
DIC ADVSECUR (buy vista ultimate cd key). Spyware on buy microsoft windows 2003 the other hand does not harm your computer intentionally. Here this buy windows volume license form is known as Alternative Form.
Engineering industries buy acrobat professional 9 especially mechanical engineering based companies use CAD in a variety of ways. It provides buy cs3 design premium easy access to different processing functions through the context sensitive menu or by using the command button at the bottom of the form. Technically Dexterity buy microsoft office project standard 2007 could easy provide DB switch. If you buy autodesk autocad 2009 don't remove spyware from your computer it will eventually not work at all or your computer files will become infected by spyware programs.
2000/Ctree buy vista get 7. According to buy adobe acrobat download Dell technical support nowadays 12 percent of their support calls involve problems related to some kinds of Spyware. Some restrictions buy microsoft office student. These are buy adobe illustrator for mac the main spyware infections that expose your confidential information and diminish your PC's performance.
Try it (buy acrobat 8) out. Do not buy windows server 2008 web edition rely and expect too much profit from an automated forex system. TFS Hosting buy adobe acrobat uk supports these project "tables" with the trays and utensils they need to serve up perfect meals. The money buy adobe presenter you save today could cost you ten times as much down the roadLet me give you an example.
How purchase windows xp pro license can you eliminate these problems while capturing data at the same. Before you buy windows xp cd key purchase automated forex trading software you must first try a demo version and see if it has everything you need. While the purchase adobe master collection transfer process was under progress the user receives the following error message:"MEMORY CARD ERROR"After the above error message appears the transfer process halts and the pictures saved in the SD memory card become inaccessible. For example buy vista business when we add our favourite picture to the desktop background the computer remembers that we want that picture displayed and stores it in the registry. The tutorial buy vista product key allows them to get up to speed with the product and prepare them for using the product as quickly as possible. Tasks can purchase xp product key be assigned to individuals or units and then tracked with specific deadlines. This is buy windows key online a global economy and right now ours is going through some trying times. There are buy adobe photoshop cs4 upgrade side benefits of SaaS functionality that are often overlooked. By identifying buy microsoft office 2007 uk a provider that can offer these options you are making the time consuming and costly printing completion copying processing and filing of paper forms a thing of the past. The money purchase microsoft office canada you save today could cost you ten times as much down the roadLet me give you an example. The file (buy microsoft project 2007) is called scanpst. Remove WinPC buy cs3 mac Defender manuallyThe first thing you need to do is remove any WinPC executable process. Fortunately there buy microsoft office student 2007 is an easy way to fix windows registry errors that anybody can do no matter what level of computer experience they have and that is to use a software program to scan for and repair windows registry errors. And while purchase windows xp online the alerts and popups themselves are fake the irony is that you really do have a spyware infection but ANG Antivirus is actually the infecting program. To remove buy adobe photoshop 6.0 the virus manually you need to:1. The result, buy microsoft office 2007 academic, is that your computer will run slower and tends to crash more because there are invalid files in the registry. Fortunately there buy windows xp from microsoft is an easy way to fix windows registry errors that anybody can do no matter what level of computer experience they have and that is to use a software program to scan for and repair windows registry errors.
It is buy office 2007 home the virtual embodiment of the restaurant operation. All of buy windows media them can benefit from a centralized project management system. Any and buy xp x64 every software setting is stored in the windows registry and this is why it must be kept in good order. Team Foundations (buy microsoft word student edition) Server Workgroup Edition creates that centralized work environment. Try out buying windows vista home a demo version. This Picture buy windows xp pro Recovery application provides highly graphical user interface. Using a buy dreamweaver cs3 P2P network to download files. The Autorun buy windows volume license virus is a Windows PE EXE file that spreads itself on a computer by making a multiple copies of autorun. Disable hidden (buy windows vista key online) system and read only attributes for autorun. Consider the buy photoshop australia waiter at your local restaurant. If your, buy visual studio standard, computer has been getting bombarded with fake security alert popups stating that you have an infection or that malware activity has been detected and you need to run ANG Antivirus in order to protect yourself then you are already infected with dangerous spyware. If you purchase vista home premium license are having problems with registry errors you can feel confident that you can correct this issue. Fortunately there (buy microsoft windows xp online) is a spyware removal tool that is able to automatically remove ANG Antivirus 09 with a simple scan and removal process. Everything is buy xp home product key connected by a state of the art network. To remove buy autocad license the virus manually you need to:1. This can purchase xp key online cause major issues and you need to use a registry software program to fix them.
All of purchase office 2007 pro the software is centrally managed at server farms located off site in a safe and secure location.
So much buy vista 32 bit so that it has been a target of heavy criticism from US congress and Law however it is still in heavy use to this day. But on buy windows 2008 standard the other hand if the expansion of sales activities is not managed properly trouble is soon to come. I give buy windows wholesale these new features a 7 out of 10. The software buy microsoft word for vista does not only give the virtual image of the whole project but also the errorless measurements the cost factors and the management planning. Can an buy xp pro key advanced English Comma Use Checker change the way we write English. Businesses will buy adobe photoshop cs3 find this software to be highly beneficial. Some of purchase adobe golive the two registry cleaners that can help you out is the Comodo Registry Cleaner and the RegCompact pro 2. Nothing could purchase windows server 2008 be further from the truth. Present day buy acrobat 8 pro projects including the engineering and construction of various public or consumer products buildings vehicles electronic devices are modeled and given a whole shape in a virtual way by the help of project management software. The link buy photoshop and illustrator below is a very popular solution and is good for a free scan. Web promotion buy microsoft windows xp online software is designed to submit and promote your site to search engines online but it must not stop there.
Well we buying windows 2003 do have a solution. This is (buy windows from microsoft) brought about by a mix up in scheduling your appointments. For every buy autocad 2004 project management work is conducted under the supervision of an individual project manager.
Although the buy cs3 design standard best property management professionals are hired for the projects computer software gives a detailed analysis of the plan including calculations and statistical implications. Cucusoft iPod purchase vista 64 bit to Computer Transfer Software allows users to take music off their iPod and transfer it to their computer in a format they can use. Open the buy cs4 for mac Cucusoft iPod video converter. Of course purchase microsoft office 2007 product key online not every anti spyware program even run in tandem with another application will do the trick so we recommend you pick one commercial product and one free product. Many of buy microsoft office professional plus 2007 the resources provide absolutely free software to help in your project management with advanced multi project management architecture the industry standard database. So how buy dreamweaver 8 software tragic would it be if your registry would just stop working. By using purchase microsoft office 2007 key your browsing habits as a guideline adware was designed to show content that you did like rather than how it has ended up by showing you more ads. You can purchase xp key find embedded links breadcrumb trails drop down buttons pop up navigation bars and other web buttons available on the site.
You can buy visual studio express adjust mask density and feathering easily select noncontiguous objects and much more. Why would buy microsoft office australia someone need to transfer files from their or iPod to their personal computer. is the, buy microsoft project uk, worst of it. Users need buy windows cd key only follow four easy steps to turn their files into the iPod friendly format they need. There are (buy windows vista home) many ways to improve our writing skills: reading books guides or taking private lessons. Good promotion buy office 2007 enterprise edition software must also streamline the flow of traffic directed to your site so as to fully optimize your Internet rankings. As the buy xp cd key iPod gains popularity more and more people are looking for a user friendly way to convert their video files to iPod format. Web based, buy windows license, project management software is often termed as the next generation high level project management software facilities. When this buy windows xp key online software detects all this information you can lock down your computer system against intruders and hackers. This article buy windows xp professional uk is going to focus on the top 5 new features in Photoshop CS4. OverviewLooking into buy adobe acrobat software this "Use Punctuation Marks" Checker technology we quickly notice that it enables us to check various text blocks and entire digital documents for any grammatical errors so that they transform correct readable and professional. Using this purchase windows xp licence online program is a simple step by step process. ConclusionIf we buy microsoft office student edition summarize the main benefit provided by this powerful Letter Writer Software it is helping us on identifying possible writing errors before we deliver or publish our writing assignments. However the buy vista cd key online stream of information being uploaded and downloaded to your computer is so frequent that you will notice a gradual drop in speed on your Internet connection when infected with adware. The features, buy adobe acrobat professional 8, that the software comes equipped with can vary although the fundamental features include drag and drop image selection web templates layouts graphic effects and animations incorporate colors customizable fonts and even free website designs among others indeed the software is designed for building professional looking websites in an instant. Thanks to purchase xp software Cucusoft virtually any video format can be converted to iPod format with no fuss or trouble.
It assigns purchase xp license from microsoft two bytes for each character whether you need it or not. Remember that buy microsoft office home 2007 it is not common for one software program to eliminate all of the problems especially with the very first repair. When doing buying windows for a mac it yourself executable files can be impacted thus creating bigger problems for you. However don't purchase windows dvd maker rush to invest in a registry cleaner if you enjoy spending $1500 for a different color of paint with the same engine under the hood. When having (buy adobe acrobat 9.0) to internationalize software for the first time sometimes companies will start with just supporting ISO Latin 1 if it meets their immediate marketing requirements and deal with the more extensive work of supporting other languages later. This gives, buy xp home edition, me a good (or bad) feeling about doing business with the company. While reviewing, purchase xp activation key, the testing results the following information can be gathered for further analysis:1) Did the Project Manager identify how much time the end users might need to wait before moving to the next Screen or next field on a given Screen. Work transaction purchase adobe illustrator cs2 is placed to the batch to be saved for future review and posting by GP user. Since each buy windows license key character requires only a single byte this character set provides support for multiple languages while avoiding the work required to support either Unicode or a double byte encoding. "If you purchase vista 64 bit have spent any time on the Internet you have seen the ads and websites claiming that they have this "software" or that "registry fix" that will "auto magically" fix your slow PC. If problems (buy vista ultimate license) continue it may be wise to download the power suite of software types to your arsenal of protection. Functional Testing buy windows xp pro cd AnalysisFunctional Testing is the unit test plans that the Software Engineer develops by reviewing the requirements. This is (buy visual studio 2008 license) a light weight software which decodes the TV signals which are sent over internet and gives the output in the form of audio and video. Unicode GrowthFirstly buy microsoft office student discount Unicode is a character set standard used for displaying and processing language data in computer applications. Retailers usually buy microsoft word 2007 product key will run simple software such as a registry scanner but charge you in the hundreds of dollars to do this.
One of buy microsoft office 2007 license key the tests that I do with each company I purchase certain products through is to send a time test email to each. Cause 8 buy windows xp cd key Removing ClutterEven if you remove your old files you may still have a bunch of old temp files from surfing the web bits of half installed programs etc. In this, buy windows server 2003 product key, world of increased computer activity it is no wonder why such retailers as Circuit City and Best Buy are deploying new ways of earning relatively easy money. Some of buy adobe flex 3 the symptoms indicating the need for the removal of Trojan viruses include:Files opening randomly Slow crashing or freezing computer problems are commonplace You are sent to websites not requested Your default homepage is replaced by an off color site (sometimes adult sites) Autoload Toolbars are placed on your PC and pop ups are evident Mouse cursor leaves a trail or the right and left buttons are reversed Navigation buttons start to disappear on your computer Your computer powers down by itself and sometimes reboots Alt + Control + Delete is not operational Your internet went on vacationWhether or not you think you have the need for the removal of Trojan viruses it is a smart plan to keep a quality spyware adware and malware removal plan throughout the year. Source Code buy dreamweaver mac Analysis Once the requirements are verified and confirmed the next task is to convert them into appropriate software modules. That's no buy windows vista cd key way to grow a corporate empire. You can buy microsoft project professional 2007 then test it against the results from the repair. 2) Was (purchase windows xp pro licence) there sufficient information how these activities are to be performed. 6) For, buy vista key online, the identified tasks did the Project Manager assign the correct resource. So the (buy microsoft windows 2008) letter A is 00000000 01000001 or 9 zeros a one followed by 5 zeros and a one. Hypothetically the purchase office 2007 online Software Engineer follows these steps viz. What is (buy cs4 mac) the Windows Registry used for. In this buy microsoft windows xp online case posted Sales batch will trigger posted Purchasing batch. Spyware problems buy adobe photoshop cheap can include annoying pop up and toolbars installs on your PC redirection to websites that you had no intention of visiting keyloggers that are intercepting your personal information and the creation of system incompatibilities that cause freezes and crashes and slow computer problems. So What buy windows 2003 enterprise Features are Vital. Percentage of buy xp license key Americans that regularly watch television while eating dinner is 66%. Trouble is buy autocad 2008 that still leaves out much of the world. Conclusion:Sir Winston buy adobe photoshop for mac Churchill once said "If you have knowledge let others light their candles with it. Common symptoms purchase microsoft office 2007 student of a pc undergoing performance degradation are this they may sound familiar: Windows Installer Errors Error in DLL files Windows Startup Errors Internet Explorer Errors Runtime Errors Corrupted File Errors Fatal Program Errors and of course Slow PC Speed. RegCure is buy adobe photoshop cs3 extended a proprietary registry cleaner that optimizes your computer's registry therefore causing a dramatic improvement in system performance. You can buy microsoft office 2007 product key online also watch live college foot ball matches with your PC or laptop.
You'd end buy acrobat professional up with a hoard of individual software code bases each needing their own testing updating and ongoing maintenance and support which is very expensive and pretty near impossible for businesses to realistically support without serious digressions among the various language versions over time. You can't buy windows server 2008 web edition print anymore and now you are getting lots of strange error messages and warnings.
