Hitmen Manage Stalemate with NPS
Tonight’s contest against the Dinh and Tonics proved far more eventful than anyone imagined for a lazy day in July. First there was the difficulty of getting the field. Per standard procedure, Ice attempted to pass the buck to the opponent over email. However, the experienced D&T captain would have none of it. This wasn’t her first rodeo. And so, the game seemed destined to be canceled… until Knitts stepped to the forefront.
Announcing to co-workers that he had “scheduled a site visit,” he took off in search of an spot in the mid afternoon. After searching long and hard (that’s what she said) he found an open plot near 21st and Constitution — a spot which was familiar to the Hitmen since it had been the site of the USPP’s Prohibition style raid on our Miller Light a few weeks earlier. All seemed well. And it was… for awhile.
Per usual, the game started late. This was because the other team (for once) was slow to arrive and because pur starting First Basemen, Kolly, felt the need to conduct a lengthy conference call while standing under a distant tree with his beer and cigarette. Some nerve for a guy who has only shown up twice all season.
This delay meant that when Harry the Park Ranger came by and interrupted our game, we had only played three innings. Harry’s news was that the field we had selected was not approved for softball by the NPS, and that we had to move. There was some mention of the need to keep the space where we were playing clear in order to preserve the vista to and from the surrounding memorials. This argument might have been more convincing had the Park Service not erected a six foot high chained link fence between us and the memorials to which Harry was referring. Unswayed by logic and unimpressed with Ice’s mention that he had once worn the green and gray himself, Harry reiterated several times that the game must be moved.
As the situation spiraled toward an impasse, Lil Bow Wow and Murry stepped in and negotiated a stay of execution. Harry agreed to allow us to play for 30 more minutes if we said, “Please,” and “Thank you,” and promised to put our toys away afterward. It proved to be a decent arrangement for all. Harry left with the pride of a job well done and we got to play a few more innings AND get to the bar earlier. Thanks, Harry!
